Oh, The Places You'll be forced to Go!
by TouchOfViolet
Summary: A story told in snippets of how Hiei’s life is, rather unwittingly, affected by his teammates’ children. And he’s got no idea what he’s in for.
1. Kid, you'll move mountains

**Disclaimer:** No, I don't wanna do a disclaimer. This is now a **Claimer**: I own Yu Yu Hakusho. Yeah. Suck on that, YT.

**A/N:** One shot series, written when the mood strikes. It will move in chronological order, and could be viewed as a multi chapter fic, I suppose, if you squint hard enough. CU.

A huge thanks to Jordan, my wonderful beta and dear friend.

**Summary: **A story told in snippets of how Hiei's life is, rather unwittingly, affected by his teammates' children. And he's got no idea what he's in for.

With apologies to Dr. Seuss.

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**Oh, The Places You'll be forced to Go!**

by Touch of Violet

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Kid, you'll move mountains

The hospitals doors opened of their own fruition and Hiei and Kurama stepped in, side by side. The first thing the fire demon noticed was the smell. Even the lobby of the hospital smelled like cleaning fluids and death. It made his nose burn, and he would have plugged it if he felt so inclined. But he didn't feel so inclined, so he just snorted and crossed his arms against his chest.

The second thing he noticed was his sister standing next to a desk off to the right, smiling at them and waving them over. He exchanged a glance with the red-head next to him before the two of them walked over, in synchronous step. They stood in front of the desk, Hiei just barely a head taller than the piece of furniture, and an older man who sat behind it grunted at them.

"Sign in," he ordered, waving a hand at several clipboards on top of the desk.

Hiei stared down at the clipboards before casting a casual glance at his sister.

"It's necessary to get inside," she said, a gentle smile on her face. She pointed at a square, white sticker on the chest of her dress that stated her name. "So they know who has come in to the hospital to visit and when."

"Safety precaution," the older man grounded out, his eyes narrowed.

"Safety precaution?" Hiei echoed incredulously. "Who would harm the already dying?"

Kurama cleared his throat and the fire demon looked over just as his former teammate patted a sticker onto his black cloak. "I signed you in, Hiei," he announced before putting his own sticker on his chest. "And I think we're ready to go, so," he nodded at Yukina.

Hiei glared down at the nametag on his chest, being able to read his own name upside down, before glaring at Kurama.

"I'll take you to see him," Yukina said, stepping away from the desk. "Follow me."

Kurama and Hiei did as she urged, following behind her and walking in after her into an elevator. She pressed a button and the elevator doors closed shut.

"How is Keiko doing?" Kurama asked once the elevators lurched upward.

The ice apparition smiled fondly. "She is sleeping now, for the first time in a very long time."

"And probably the last time in a very long time," Kurama added softly.

Yukina nodded, and Hiei noticed how exhausted she looked. Her red eyes seemed weary and her skin paler than normal.

"Have you been here the whole time?" He asked, sounding rougher around the edges than he wanted.

Yukina turned to face him. "Yusuke called when Keiko started going into labor while they were still at their home. I went over to," she stared down at her hands before rubbing them together, "I went over to their house to help with some of the pains of labor."

"So you've been with Keiko the entire time she was in labor?" Hiei asked.

She nodded once.

"Which was, for how long, exactly?"

The elevator doors opened and Yukina stepped out. "Thirty eight hours," she answered over her shoulder, walking down a hallway.

Kurama and Hiei followed behind.

"You must be tired, Yukina," Kurama said.

Yukina kept walking, throwing a smile at him over her shoulder. "A little, I suppose. I managed to nap here and there."

They turned down another hallway, Yukina pressing open two wide, wooden doors to pass through. The noise level shot up once they stepped through those doors, Hiei's ears picking up the distinct sound of that came from the wailing of a newborn baby. His nose twitched, and he noticed the smell changed in that part of the hospital as well. It no longer smelled like cleaning fluids and death.

It smelled like excrement and life.

He wasn't sure which one he preferred.

"Here we are," Yukina announced, stopping before a large glass wall. Kurama and Hiei stepped towards the wall, peering inside the glass. There were at least twenty small cribs, filled with twenty small human infants. Some of them had blue blankets, and some of them had pink blankets. Some of them were crying, and some were fast asleep.

Hiei smirked slightly at the scene before him. _Human children under glass. Delicious._

"Where is he?" Kurama asked, his eyes narrowed but a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Though, I'm pretty sure I can see him."

Yukina pointed a finger against the glass at a crib in the center of all the other cribs that held a small human child wrapped in a blue blanket and fast asleep.

Hiei turned his head to study the infant better. He looked, even from a distance and behind glass, almost exactly like the spirit detective.

The poor child.

"Yeah, he looks like Urameshi, don't he?" A familiar voice asked, before the sound of loud slurping filled the hallway.

Eyebrow twitching, Hiei turned his head away from the children under glass to see Kuwabara slurping at a drink in his hand and holding a paper sack; Botan stood next to him, holding on to two more paper sacks and smiling brightly.

Kuwabara finally released his straw. "Poor kid, gotta carry around that ugly mug with him for the rest of his life."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Kuwabara," Botan chided. "When I look at him, I see Keiko."

"Well, for his sake, I hope you're right," the oaf nodded, grinning at the three demons in the hallway. "Hey guys."

"Hello, Kuwabara," Kurama greeted politely.

"You brought her back a burger?" Yukina questioned gently from somewhere behind Hiei.

Botan smiled, nodding and holding up one of her paper sacks. "Got one for Yusuke, Genkai and you, as well, Yukina. I didn't know anyone else was coming."

The ice apparition said, "Thank you, Botan. I'm not hungry just yet. Why don't you take them their food?"

"Baby," Kuwabara said with a sigh in his voice, "you gotta eat."

Hiei rolled his eyes.

"And I will, Kazuma," Yukina insisted. "Please make sure Keiko gets her burger."

Botan quickly waved goodbye at everyone standing before the glass wall before taking the paper sack from Kuwabara and turning on her heel and taking off down the hallway.

"An hour before the baby was born, Keiko said she was going to give up if we didn't promise her all the burgers she could eat from her favorite fast food place," Kuwabara explained, taking a step closer towards the glass until his nose was almost pressed against it. "The Yukimuras, Shizuru and Atsuko went home about twenty minutes ago to sleep and Botan and I got some food." He turned his head so that his cheek pressed against the glass and smiled at Yukina. "Guess you weren't alone for long."

She smiled brightly and approached him. "I'm just happy all of our friends could come and celebrate this day with us. It's always a happy moment when a child is born."

Hiei inwardly scoffed, but never the less stepped towards the glass again to study the child that he had traveled from a different world to see.

"What is his name?" Kurama asked, raising a hand to rest it on the glass.

"Keiichi," Kuwabara answered with a grin and Kurama responded with his own.

Again, Hiei inwardly scoffed. If the boy acted like his father half as much as he looked like his father he would certainly never live up to that name.

Yukina sighed and Hiei looked at her from the corner of his eye just as she rested her head against Kuwabara's arm. "He's beautiful," she stated wistfully, and that settled all conversation in the room to stillness.

Hiei glared at the couple next to him as the oaf adjusted his arm to pull Yukina against him before bending down and kissing the top of her head. He thought about reaching over and pulling the oaf's arm out of socket, because it would really be pathetically easy. But he noticed that Yukina relaxed against the human, her features softening, and any and all weariness leaving her eyes.

He grunted quietly and forced himself to look away, eyes scanning over the twenty or so human infants in the nursery. Keiichi was one of the few that were sleeping, somehow able to find rest even though the others around him were wailing.

And considering who Keiichi's father was, it wasn't at all surprising.

"He was," Yukina began, pausing to bite on her bottom lip, "he was having trouble latching on. And Keiko was so exhausted. The nurses brought him here to give her a chance to rest and to bottle feed him."

All three males stiffened slightly, unsure of what to do with that bit of information.

"I'm sure he'll pick it up in no time," Kuwabara said matter-of-factly and rubbed her arm reassuringly. "We've _all _seen the way Urameshi eats."

"Hn," Hiei agreed and Kurama chuckled.

The fire demon let his eyes wander over the infants, wondering why his attention seemed to keep snapping back to the little boy in the center of the room. He assumed it was either because the boy had been positioned in the exact center of the room, and therefore in the exact center of his line of site, or because he gave off just the slightest, tiniest bit of spirit energy.

It certainly wasn't because he felt any connection or attachment towards Keiichi. The infant was just as much a stranger to him as the other twenty or so infants in the room behind the glass wall. Even if he did look just like the spirit detective.

"Hey, guys," a soft voice called from down the hall, and the group turned to see their newest member.

Yusuke and Botan stood side by side, the ferry girl holding on to his arm and smiling brightly, while the spirit detective rubbed the back of his neck and looked at his friends with soft, shining eyes.

"Hello, Yusuke," Kurama greeted. "How are you feeling?"

The new father shrugged a shoulder and tried on a smile. "Pretty good. Tired."

"I tried to get him to eat," Botan said, directing her attention to Yukina. "But he wanted to say hi."

"Genkai stayed behind," Yusuke said, also directing his attention to Yukina. "In case Keiko wakes up, you know. Don't want her to wake up alone."

"You should get some sleep too, Urameshi," Kuwabara stated, giving his friend a sweeping glance. "You look like hell."

Yusuke grinned and stepped forward. Botan relinquished her hold on his arm and he used his now free hand to grasp Kuwabara's shoulder. "Thanks a lot," he said. "Really, I feel the love, Kuwabara."

"You do look like hell," Hiei agreed, crossing his arms against his chest. For once, the oaf had said something reasonably intelligent.

Yusuke turned his grin to the fire demon. "Well, hi to you too, Hiei." His features softened and rubbed the back of his neck again, his brown eyes shining as he looked at the fire demon and then at the fox demon. "Glad you guys could make it."

"Like any of us would miss this!" Kuwabara exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Yusuke and giving him a noogie.

Yusuke fought against him, trying to pull himself out of the hold. "Hey, watch the hair, Kuwabara! Man, you're lucky I haven't slept in two days!"

Kurama shook his head and chuckled. "Some things never change."

Hiei let out a long, suffering sigh. "Unfortunately."

"Boys, boys," Botan intervened as she laughed. "Please, you'll set a bad example for the children."

"They _are_ children," Hiei muttered and Yukina giggled at him behind her hand.

Kuwabara relinquished his hold, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "I guess I'll go easy on ya for now, Urameshi. At least until Keiko checks out of the hospital."

"Yeah, yeah," Yusuke waved a hand dismissively and turned his attention to the nursery. He scanned the room with a grin. "So, which one's mine again?"

Kuwabara gave a loud scoff before grabbing Yusuke by the shoulders. "You're joking, right? He's the one in the center that _looks just like you_! Don't even joke around like that, Urameshi! You're bound to give the kid issues. And having you as a father really should be issue enough!"

Botan, Yukina, Kurama, and a reluctant Hiei gathered around them before the glass window, each one peering in at the little baby boy in the center.

Yusuke let out a low sigh. "Man, he really does look like me."

Kuwabara tightened his hold on Yusuke's shoulders as he nodded. "I just can't believe one of us has one of these."

"They really should regulate these things," Hiei agreed.

"Oh, he's full of jokes today!" Yusuke laughed and clapped Hiei on the back good naturedly.

The fire demon glared at him, and though Yusuke did remove the hand from his back, he kept the grin on his face. The new father looked incredibly tired – dark, purple bags around his eyes and deep lines set in around his mouth.

Kurama stepped forward, standing in between the former spirit detective and the fire demon, and put a hand on Yusuke's shoulder. "You said Genkai was here?"

He nodded. "Yeah, she's in the room with Keiko. You want me to get her?" He asked, jamming a thumb in the presumed direction of their hospital room.

Kurama shook his head. "How long has she been here?"

"Oh, she's been with us for as long as Yukina has. As soon as Keiko went into labor."

"Yes," Yukina agreed with a smile, "we came over and tried to help, but Keiko was cleaning the house. She would only allow me to lessen the pain a little."

"Cleaning the house?" Botan echoed. "Whatever for?"

Yusuke shrugged his shoulders. "Hell if I know. Doctor didn't want her to come to the hospital yet, so, she cleaned the house. We tried talking her out of it, you know. That just because she was in labor didn't mean she had to do labor. Does she listen? No. I _married_ her; I _never _said she was sane."

"And Botan and Kuwabara?" Kurama continued, looking at the blue haired ferry girl, "how long have you two been here?"

Hiei was both bored and intrigued. The questions Kurama were asking about everyone's arrival to the hospital seemed absolutely tedious and caused him to want to rip his eyes out (all three of them). He didn't care when everyone got to the hospital. He couldn't see how it mattered. One thing he was sure of though was that Kurama rarely asked questions he didn't already know the answer to; and he always asked questions for a reason besides gaining information.

Kuwabara scratched his temple. "Well, Yusuke called as soon as she was admitted into the hospital. Um, what? Yesterday morning?"

Yusuke scrunched his face and looked at the watch on his wrist. "Holy crap, it _was_ yesterday morning."

"And I got here early this morning," Botan interjected, clapping her hands together. "I would have been here sooner, but it seems Yusuke in his haste forgot to call me. He didn't forget to call anyone else, however." she narrowed her eyes at his head.

Hiei couldn't figure out why this information was important to Kurama. The fox demon was always a step ahead of everyone else, always planning something. What could he possibly be planning?

"You know, you live in a different world than me," Yusuke argued, "it's not like picking up a cell phone to call you. I have to find that … mirror, thing. Complicated, Botan."

"Hey, you should feel lucky, Botan," Kuwabara added, "his own mother didn't get here until this afternoon."

The young man rolled his eyes and sighed in annoyance. "That was because we couldn't get a hold of her until this afternoon," he said, and no one bothered to ask what she was doing that was more important than the birth of her first grandchild.

"But Keiko's parents met us here at the hospital yesterday morning." Yusuke added after a moment, his features softening noticeably. "They were real troopers through it all. So were you, Yukina," he said, touching her arm gently. "And the old hag, too, I suppose," he shrugged nonchalantly, but the affection in his voice was pathetically apparent.

It was almost funny. The old hag, and the subject of many nightmares for Yusuke, was far more of a mother to him than the woman who gave him life. And she was the only one out of all their parents who was even still at the hospital, waiting by the new mother's bedside in case she woke up, for fear of her being alone.

"Why don't you go home and get some rest, Yusuke?" Kurama prompted. "And Yukina and Kuwabara and Genkai as well. I will stay here with Keiko for a little while. And Hiei, if he wants."

Hiei crossed his arms against his chest and directed his attention to the little boy behind the glass. "Hn."

Ah. Kurama's inane questioning made sense now.

Volunteered to serve on Urameshi's team. Again. _Fantastic._

"Oh, man, I don't know." Yusuke said, raking his fingers threw his hair.

"The nurses are looking after Keiichi and Keiko is sleeping. And I've spent my fair share in hospitals," Kurama pointed out. "Go home and get some rest. You'll have practically none when she and the baby are released from the hospital."

Yusuke sighed again, looking like he wanted to take the offer, but wasn't sure if it was wise.

Kuwabara punched him in the arm. "It's a good idea, Urameshi. I'm making you do it. I'm gonna take you home if I gotta pound you into the dirt to do it."

"Yes," Botan agreed. "Take a nap and then come back to the hospital. Oh, and a take a shower as well." She pinched her nose closed with a teasing smile on her face. "You kind of smell. And by kind of, I mean, a lot."

Yusuke grinned cheekily at her. "You're _such_ a friend, Botan. Seriously. In fact, you're such a friend, that I think," he raised both arms up, making sure to put an armpit in the ferry girl's face; she gagged and tried to push him away, "I think I need to hug you." And hug her he did, wrapping his arms around her and keeping his armpit in her face.

She punched him in the gut, and when he released her with a grunt, she held a fist to her mouth and gagged repeatedly.

Yukina giggled and Kuwabara laughed.

"That was so wrong, Urameshi!" He exclaimed. "But, man, you should get going."

Yusuke rubbed his stomach and smiled at Kurama. "I think I will take you up on that offer, Kurama. I do kind of stink."

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "_Kind of_?"

--

Hiei absentmindedly stared at the muted TV that hung on the hospital room's wall. He was bored out of his mind. They had sat on either side of Keiko's bed while she slept for the better part of an hour, with a muted TV and absolutely no conversation. Under normal circumstances, he would have been perfectly content. And though his life had been nothing even close to resembling ordinary, the situation he found himself in was most certainly … different.

"Why are we here, again?" He asked, throwing a casual glance at the red head across the hospital bed.

He pulled his green eyes away from the TV screen to look at Hiei. "To give Yusuke some much needed rest."

"So why are we here?" He repeated, crossing his arms against his chest. Now he was annoyed. Well, annoyed was better than bored.

Kurama tilted his head to the side. "It's what friends do, Hiei."

"And again, I'm forced to ask – why are _we_ here?"

Keiko moaned quietly and stretched her arms above her head. With a yawn, she forced her eyes open.

"Kurama?" She questioned in a whisper, rubbing her eyes with her fists. "Kurama, is that you?"

"Yes, Keiko, it's me," he greeted, turning his attention away from Hiei entirely to look down at the human woman on the bed.

She smiled sleepily at him and yawned again. "Where is Yusuke? And my baby?"

"The group voted that Yusuke needed a shower and a quick nap at home. The baby is with the nurses. I can grab a nurse, tell her you're awake?" He asked.

She nodded. "Please and thank you."

He rose from his seat and walked out the door. Keiko stretched slightly again, yawning and turning her head to crack her neck. Her eyes widened momentarily; she smiled brightly when she saw Hiei had occupied the chair on her left.

"Hi, Hiei," she greeted happily. "It's good to see you."

He gave her a single nod.

The door opened and Kurama came back into the room. "A nurse is getting Keiichi now," he announced, sitting back down next to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

Her brow furrowed in thought and she wiggled her body, as if trying to determine exactly how she was feeling. "Sore," she announced. "Like, like I'm never going to be able to sit right again."

Kurama's eyes widened fractionally before he smiled at her. "Oh."

"Did you get to see him?" She asked, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

The redhead nodded. "Yes, we did. He looks very much like his father."

Keiko blew the bangs off her face in annoyance. "I know! I do all the work, he gets all the credit."

"Typical Yusuke," Hiei added.

The brunette laughed as the door opened, a nurse wheeling in a small crib with Keiichi nestled inside. He was awake and screaming as loud as he possibly could.

Keiko cooed. "Look what I made, guys!"

She pushed herself up, trying to sit up right, and grimaced. Kurama reached out a hand and helped her to sit up, fluffing her pillows behind her so she had something to lean back on.

The nurse picked up the crying baby and smiled at Keiko. "You want to try feeding him again?"

Keiko nodded and started adjusting her hospital gown.

Kurama and Hiei exchanged glances before both of them moved across the room to look out the window.

"Lovely weather this evening," Kurama noted, his back to the hospital bed.

"Hn," Hiei agreed, his back also to the hospital bed.

The baby stopped crying and Keiko chuckled quietly.

"Don't mind them, Keiichi," she said in a very sing songy voice, "your uncles are really just a bunch of chickens."

Hiei grunted in obvious disagreement, though whether he was disagreeing about being called an uncle or being called a chicken was up for debate.

"He's not having any trouble now," the nurse said, presumably about Keiichi being able to eat. Of course, that was the presumption, but the boys were busy staring out the window and wouldn't dare look around even if their life depended on it.

"Grab the blanket?" Keiko asked the nurse.

There was a rustling sound and Keiko chuckled again. "Okay boys, all decent. You can turn around now."

Kurama and Hiei exchanged hesitant glances before Kurama braved a look over at the bed. The nurse was just walking out of the door while Keiko was still sitting up in the bed, her top half and presumably the baby hidden beneath a blue blanket.

"He's doing fine?" Kurama asked gently, taking his seat next to her bed again.

She nodded before peering down under the blanket. "Thankfully." She looked back up, smiling at Kurama and then at Hiei – who was leaning against the wall next to the window. "Thank you both for coming. It, it means a lot."

"It's nothing," Kurama assured her.

Her smile quickly turned into a grimace. "I can't even begin to imagine what I look like. My hair," her grimace took on a sorrowful expression. "I'm sure it's in tangles. Terrible, terrible tangles that I'll never be able to get out."

The redhead looked her over and smiled. "Really, Keiko, it isn't that bad."

She shook her head and peered down at the baby. She shifted slightly, her hand disappearing under the blanket, and a moment later she shrugged the blanket off. The baby was sound asleep in her arms, and her hospital robes were (thankfully) properly readjusted.

"I still can't believe I made him," she whispered.

"Hey, I helped too!" Yusuke announced, walking into the hospital room and holding a Styrofoam mug filled with a steaming liquid.

Keiko looked up at him with narrowed eyes and a slight smile on her face. "Your part was small."

"I thought you would be longer, Yusuke," Kurama said from his chair.

He shrugged and sipped at his drink. "Kuwabara was snoring."

"You slept with Kuwabara," Hiei stated, sounding slightly amused.

Yusuke pointed a finger at Hiei. "Not exactly. We barely got into the house before we passed out. He crashed on the floor, I got the sofa."

"Where is Kuwabara?" Keiko questioned.

Yusuke sat down on the hospital bed next to her, looking over her shoulder at the baby in her arms. "He followed me here. He's in the hospital cafeteria right now trying to chug down as much coffee as he can. I couldn't get him to go home. I think he thinks he's gonna stay here for as long as we are staying here."

"At least your stench isn't so putrid anymore," Hiei conceded.

"Oh, gee, thanks," Yusuke said. He sipped on his coffee and reached out an index finger, caressing his son's face.

The little boy turned his head to lean more into the touch.

"Damn," Yusuke whispered.

"Yusuke," Keiko began, shifting as she sat. "Can you do me a favor? I need my chapstick and a hairbrush. _Desperately_."

He nodded and put his coffee down on the floor. "Where's the bag?" He asked, standing up.

"Under Kurama's chair." She answered.

"Oh, I'll get out of your way," Kurama said, standing up and moving over to the wall. His movement forced Hiei to move and take a step closer to the bed, coming up next to Keiko's left.

In all honesty, Hiei should have seen it coming. He was the closest one to her, after all. But, he didn't. And that would forever teach him to let his guard down in a hospital ever again. Because, what happened next was –

"Here's the hairbrush," Yusuke said, holding it out with both hands to Keiko.

"Oh, um," she blinked at the hairbrush before looking around the room. "Here, hold this," she demanded, thrusting the baby out towards Hiei.

"No," the fire demon argued, trying to take a step back, but ending up with the sleeping child in his arms anyway.

Keiko grimaced as she tried to brush her hair. "Yusuke, I can't do it. It's no use. I'll have to shave my head."

Yusuke handed her a small tube of chapstick and sat down behind her on the bed, taking the hairbrush out of her hands. "Can't have that – I've been around enough bald people for one lifetime. Let me help you." He started running the brush through Keiko's hair as gently as he could, the grimace on her face never leaving.

Hiei wore a grimace that matched the new mother's. The baby was stirring in his arms and he was trying his damndest to not touch the baby whilst holding the baby and was needless to say losing the fight.

Keiichi blinked his eyes open, looking up at Hiei very unsurely. He studied him for a moment, before his entire right hand grasped onto Hiei's index finger and held on tight.

Hiei tried to pull his finger away, but to no avail. The baby just lay in his hold, head nestled in the crook of Hiei's arm, and grasping on to Hiei's finger like it was a life line. Hiei glared, but the baby just closed his eyes and tried to fall back asleep.

"He smells," Hiei declared.

Keiko scoffed in offense and Kurama raised an eyebrow. "Like what, Hiei?" He asked.

With a wavering stare at the fox demon he said, "Like excrement and life."

Yusuke grunted with a smile. "That's a baby for you."

The fire demon shifted his weight on his feet, a deep scowl on his face. "I don't like this," Hiei announced, receiving a soft chuckle from the other occupants of the room.

Yusuke grinned up at him from his position on the hospital bed, a hairbrush in one hand and the other grasping on to his wife's brown hair. "Tough luck, _Uncle Hiei_."

Hiei glared at him before turning the glare back on the child in his arms. He couldn't believe how peaceful Keiichi looked, cuddling up to the fire demon and sleeping on without a care in the world. Surely, this child wasn't stupid enough to think he was someone _safe_ to sleep on. Surely, this child was only behaving this way because he was a few hours old, and it wasn't an indicator of future behavior. Surely, things like this would never happen again; and _most certainly_ this child would never view him as _Uncle Hiei_, tough luck or otherwise.

Then again, the child did look just like the spirit detective, and if he behaved anything like the spirit detective … nothing was certain.

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**A/N**: Btw, "Keiichi" means "respectful first son."

Please review, and let me know what you think! Even just a happy face or a sad face will make my day.


	2. Your mountain is waiting

**Disclaimer:** Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to YT. Dumb. And I don't own Dr. Seuss either. Also dumb.

This has been edited only by me.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far!!

**A/N**: Portions of this one shot are taken from my multi-chaptered story, "Sentimental Titles" - chapters two and three, actually. It has been re-written and edited for this one shot to encompass Hiei's point of view during those chapters. I thought it vital to this story to include this moment. So, yeah. Here this is. ;p

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**Oh, The Places You'll be forced to Go!**

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Your mountain is waiting

Hiei launched himself from tree branch to tree branch, taking the backwoods approach from Kurama's house to Yusuke's house.

He was annoyed, if the scowl on his face was a good indicator of his current mood. He had come all the way from Demon World, going through the hassle of avoiding patrol duty (which, in all honesty was more annoying than difficult) and the damn fox didn't even have the decency to be at home. Really, the nerve.

He grunted when Yusuke's house came in to view, somewhat satisfied that at least he could eat whatever the former spirit detective's wife had left in the fridge – usually he could find chocolate. Or ramen.

Sometimes both.

At the same time.

He stopped in their yard and contemplated just sneaking in through a window, but the last time that he did that he walked in on the former spirit detective sans the clothes. And that hadn't been a moment that bared repeating.

With obvious reluctance, he approached the small yellow house with a bright brown roof and a wide porch. He knocked on the door and waited.

Behind the wooden door he could hear Yusuke exclaim, "FINALLY!" Seconds later, the door flung open revealing a slightly fuming Yusuke Urameshi. "YOU!"

Hiei crossed his arms over his chest and didn't suppress the annoyed look that overtook his features.

Yusuke's face fell into total confusion. "….are not Kuwabara."

"You always were the observant one," Hiei said dryly, stepping past the human to enter the house, not bothering to ask why Urameshi was expecting the idiot in the first place.

Yusuke scratched the back of his head and smiled. "So, what brings you here?"

Hiei threw a half hearted glare over his shoulder as he walked towards the kitchen door. "Kurama wasn't home."

The dark haired man paused, his mouth hanging open, before shutting it closed with a resounding smack. "That was oddly informative," he replied, shrugging.

Hiei walked into the kitchen, letting the door close behind him, and allowed a small grin to cross his lips when he saw the fridge. He opened the fridge and the grin grew; just as he suspected, Keiko kept it fully stocked.

The overly emotional human was good for something, at least.

He tore into several cartons of pudding at once, ears half tuning in to the conversation outside the kitchen door when he heard yelling.

"Yo, Urameshi!"

Hiei grimaced slightly as he reached for the Tupperware filled with oden. The buffoon had come over. Fantastic.

"Jeeze, Kuwabara! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Yusuke's voice rang out, sounding petrified.

Hiei snorted in amusement, digging both hands into the oden. Kuwabara started talking to the three month old … what was his name again? His brow furrowed as he finished off the Tupperware. Kenichi? Ke-Keiichi. Yes, Kuwabara had approached Keiichi and then Keiichi had started crying frantically. He grinned as he ate, happy to hear the oaf sound so offended that the child didn't take a liking to him.

"Keiichi's a little grumpy because he hasn't had his nap today," came Keiko's muffled voice over the cries of her son.

Hiei shoved the empty containers back in the fridge. He took one last look around the appliance, sighing slightly when he realized he wanted nothing else it held, and closed the door.

"And he refuses to take one," he heard Yusuke say, presumably about Keiichi and his naps.

He stepped out of the kitchen, licking the remnants of food off his lips. Everyone else turned to look at him.

Kuwabara blinked owlishly at him. "Hiei?" He wrinkled his nose like he smelled something rotten, "what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Hiei responded in a bored tone. He looked around the room briefly, wondering the best way to make his escape now that he had gotten what he wanted.

Kuwabara shoved his hands in his pockets. "You know, that really doesn't explain anything."

He opened his mouth, intent on putting the redhead in his place, when Yusuke piped up; "Okay, okay! We gotta get going, Kuwabara."

Hiei narrowed his eyes before resoundly deciding he didn't care enough about where Yusuke and Kuwabara had to get going to to ask.

The taller man nodded, scratching the top of his head. "Yeah, okay." He smiled gently. "Bye, Keiko," he called, heading towards the door. "See ya later, Hiei."

"Hn," Hiei responded nonchalantly, crossing his arms against his chest again. "Unfortunately," he whispered under his breath.

"Bye, babe!" Yusuke called over his shoulder, smiling at Keiko.

She waved with the hand that wasn't holding on to the infant. "Bye, Yusuke! Have fun!"

Yusuke and Kuwabara walked out of the door, shutting it quietly behind them.

--

An awkward silence set in the room the second after the door closed. Hiei stood by the kitchen door, arms across his chest, staring at the floor. Keiko held her son close to her, looking at everything and anything but Hiei.

"So…" she began after several minutes of quiet.

Hiei looked up at her. He blinked several times in her general direction before turning his attention back to the floor. "Hn."

Keiichi turned his head so that he could see the small demon. He smiled brightly the moment his eyes landed on Hiei. "Gaah!" He exclaimed happily, stretching out his arms to the part fire demon, as if he was trying to touch him.

Both Keiko and Hiei stared at the baby, amazed.

"It looks like…Keiichi wants you, Hiei." She stated.

Hiei's brow furrowed as she stepped around the couch and approached him. Carefully, she handed Keiichi to him.

"Now, wait a minute-" Hiei began to argue, taking Keiichi from her anyway. The baby grabbed fistfuls of his black cloak and stared up at him playfully.

Hiei glared down at the baby, unhappy with the way the infant had singled him out; unhappy with the way the baby looked so damn happy in his arms. Why the hell was this kid out to get him? First, at the hospital … sleeping on him. And now, he wanted to be held. What was wrong with this kid?

Begrudgingly, Hiei remembered the fact that just a few moments earlier Kuwabara had wanted the infant's attention, and the child had cried in the redhead's presence.

Perhaps the fact that the child had such great discernment was reason enough to not resent him completely, or punish him for his good judgment.

"Right," Keiko began, pushing the hair off of her face. "You…stay there. And I'll go make us some hot chocolate! That sound good?" She asked rhetorically, walking into the kitchen and leaving him all alone with Keiichi.

Hiei stared down at the child he was struggling to hold. His eyes squinted into the most frightening glare he could muster, hoping to keep some of his dignity. Keiichi just looked up at him and smiled a big, toothless smile.

"Geef!" He said, raising his hands in the air. His smile grew even bigger when he realized he could touch Hiei's face.

It became harder each passing second to glare at Keiichi. In fact, Hiei had to fight back a smile.

"Come on," he grunted, situating Keiichi in his arms so that he was lying down. "You need to stop bothering me."

Cautiously, he walked to the nursery. He closed the door gently behind him, pausing a moment to take in the cartoony pictured prehistoric animals on the nursery walls, the blue carpet on the floor, and the small white crib near the single window in the room.

Keiichi yawned as he lifted up a hand, his fingers touching Hiei's chin.

The fire demon moved his face away from his grasp. "How the hell do these things keep happening to me?" His eyes narrowed when he realized why Keiichi kept ending up in his hold: Keiko. Obviously, the human was out to get him. "Stupid girl."

He shifted his hold on the baby, pulling him closer to his chest, and took several hesitant steps toward the crib. "You need to leave me alone and go to sleep," he told Keiichi. He stared down at the boy in his arms, and wondered how in the three worlds he could actually put the boy to sleep.

He didn't really know a lot about infants, or about comforting infants, or really even about being an infant. The few memories he had of being with his mother – and there were _very_ few – most of them centered around his expulsion from their home.

But there was one memory, one out of focus and often fleeting memory of his mother …

Hiei closed his eyes, feeling completely and totally, one hundred percent, _unhappy._

With a pained sigh, Hiei started humming. Quietly, at first. But when Keiichi gave another yawn, he started humming just a little louder.

He rocked his arms a little, unsure as to whether or not it was a comforting motion, and watched the child's face to see if what he could remember his mother doing for him was working for the little boy. "_Little children are annoying,_" he thought as Keiichi slowly closed his eyes. "_His only redeeming quality is being part demon. Even then, it's a small redeeming quality, seeing as how he is only _part_ demon"._

The sound of even breathing met Hiei's ears and he paused in his humming, noticing the fact that the baby had quiet clearly fallen asleep in his arms. Again.

_Stupid kid._

Hiei sighed again, wondering why the fates were serving up this latest slice of hell as he looked down at the boy in his grasp. The little boy sighed, almost in exact duplication of the noise he had made just moments before. Even in his sleep, the little child was annoying.

Hiei shook his head.

_Stupid kid._

He put the sleeping infant in the crib, leaning over him a moment longer than necessary before jerking up the railing and locking it into place. Shaking his head again, Hiei approached the window. With a last brief glance at the crib, he crawled onto the window sill.

"Hiei?" came Keiko's voice from the next room, the sound of her approaching footsteps sounding an alarm in his ears.

He was gone before she ever made it to the door.

* * *

A/N: Review, please! I'm mostly finished with the next one-shot for this series, and reviews always motivate me to get my butt in gear!

And in case anyone cares, this series does go right along with both Sentimental Titles and Hiei the Babysitter - I don't know why, but I just love making Hie uncomfortable do to the hero worship of little children. Anyone else share in this strange indulgence? ;p


	3. Congratulations!

**Disclaimer**: The characters are not mine, and I don't own Dr. Seuss either, but the idea is mine thank you very much. I also own Koenma. Mmm, Koenma.

**A/N**: This has been edited only by me. You have been warned.

Thanks for the reviews, guys! They mean so much, and they really do keep me motivated.

* * *

**Oh, The Places You'll be forced to Go!**

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**.  
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Congratulations!

Yusuke shook his head, a grin playing on his lips, and sighed at the scene before him. Two long necked bottles clunked in his hand as he walked, drawing the attention of the other man sitting on the ground. He raised his free hand to loosen his yellow tie and chuckled.

"Having fun, Hiei?" He asked, stopping just short of the fire demon.

Said fire demon glared up at him from his seat on the grass in Genkai's temple grounds, his back against the wall of one of the compounds. In his arms slept a six month old human child.

"Your wife seems to think I'm only around to look after your offspring," Hiei replied, his eyes following Yusuke as the former spirit detective took a seat next to him. Yusuke offered him one of the beers in his hands, and Hiei shook his head, instead adjusting his hold on the baby so that Keiichi's neck was more firmly supported in the crook of his arm.

Yusuke pointed at the gesture with his long necked bottle. "You're getting good at that."

Hiei's eyes narrowed darkly at a distant point past Yusuke, where the few remaining guests of the party were dancing under the April stars. "I suppose I have your wife to thank for that. Do not think that this will be a common occurrence. You need to get her under control."

Yusuke snorted beer into his nose. He raised a hand and coughed loudly into his palm, shaking his head and trying to breathe normally. He cursed and laughed and coughed a few more times. "Get my wife under control. Okay, yeah, I'll work on that. By the way," he pointed a finger at where the last few guests were dancing, more specifically at Keiko dancing with Botan, "have you _met _my wife?"

The fire demon rolled his eyes. "It's rather disgraceful to see a man afraid of his woman."

Yusuke flashed him a sloppy grin before bringing his bottle to his lips, "At least I'm man enough to admit my fear."

The child in Hiei's arms furrowed his brow and raised a clenched fist to rub his eyes, a squeal of discomfort coming from his lips. Hiei glared down at the child before shifting his hold again, bringing the baby up to lay his head down on the fire demon's shoulder. The sixth month old fussed and turned his head back and forth, unable to get comfortable.

"There there, Keiichi," Yusuke soothed, running his index finger over his son's cheek and immediately stilling the baby. "You're okay. You're Uncle Hiei's got you."

Keiichi yawned loudly, his eyes never opening, and rested his cheek against his Uncle's shoulder.

Hiei snorted quietly. "You could take your sad excuse of a child away from me."

"Aww, but you're doing so good!" Yusuke teased, taking another drink of his beer. "Plus, I think you need the distraction. You have the 'Holy crap, my sister is being deflowered' look all over your face."

The flames of the Spirit World appeared in Hiei's eyes as he stared at the former spirit detective. "You will be quiet now, Yusuke."

"Oh man," Yusuke laughed, pointing a finger, "it's all you can think about, ain't it? That right now, probably _as we speak_, your sister is being deflowered!"

Sparks flew from Hiei's red eyes. "You will stop this line of conversation now, detective. I _am_ the one holding your child."

Yusuke slapped his forehead with his palm and shook his head, his laughter never ceasing. "And she's not just being deflowered by anybody. Oh, no no no! That honor goes to your _best friend_, Kuwabara Kazuma. And it's _all _you can think about."

"It is not!" Hiei snapped, the sound of his voice causing Keiichi to stir. Hiei absentmindedly rubbed the baby's back, soothing him back to sleep. The action did not go unnoticed by the child's father. "That is not what I'm thinking about and you will stop this inane babbling before I destroy you."

Yusuke grinned. "Okay, okay. I'll stop now."

Hiei's eyes narrowed, the hand on Keiichi's back stilling, but his thumb running in slow circles. "Destroy. You."

"It was a nice wedding though," the former spirit detective said, resting his head against the wall of the compound. Kuwabara and Yukina's wedding had been a small affair, only a dozen or so guests in attendance as the bride and groom said their vows under an arch of flowers supplied by their very own fox demon. Many guests had stayed on the temple grounds hours after the ceremony to drink and eat and dance. The bride and groom, on the other hand, had been some of the first to leave – the groom itching to get on to the honeymoon part of the relationship.

Yusuke sighed and smiled as his wife and Botan remained the only two dancing. "It's not so bad."

Hiei spared an uninterested glance at him before looking back up at the stars.

"You know, this whole, marriage thing," he elaborated, taking another swig of beer. "Plus they're good together. And poor Kuwabara has waited years for her. And, you know, the things that come out of being married aren't so bad either." He caressed his son's cheek with his index finger again, earning a glare from the fire demon over the close contact. "And we already know you make a killer uncle."

Hiei arched an eyebrow at the statement, obviously unsure as to how to take it.

"So it, it won't seem so … so bad in the morning," Yusuke continued. "That your sister is now a Kuwabara."

The demon snorted. "Her choice will not affect my life."

It was Yusuke's turn to arch an eyebrow. "Riiiiight."

"Yusuke!" Keiko called from across the compound, drawing both men's attention. She held her shoes in her right hand and with her left hand called her husband over. "Home now?"

Yusuke nodded at her before taking another drink of his beer. "Well, that's my ride," he said, grunting as he stood on his feet. Hiei stood as well, shifting his hold on the child so as to make an easier transition in the inevitable hand off. "You could come with us," Yusuke offered. "It's late and if you try to give the kid to me he'll wake up, and then there'll be screaming. Plus, we've got a spare bed and …" he shrugged, "and lots of food."

Hiei stared at the former spirit detective as if he were some of mutant turtle who could speak and fight crime. "I do not need your food or your bed, and I do not care if the child wakes up and screams once I hand him over to you."

The young father nodded. "Alright, well, let me put my beers someplace. Definitely don't wanna go on the train without a couple of those."

Keiko jogged up to them, smiling slightly at the sight of the fire demon holding her child. "Never mind, Yusuke. I talked to Genkai. She's got a room for us. I really don't want to spend the next few hours trying to get back home. Plus, taking the stairs in these shoes is not something I want to do twice in one day." She thrust her shoes into Yusuke's hands before turning her attention to Hiei. "She's got a room for you too, if you want it, Hiei."

"What is it with your humans and your constant persistence that I need such trivial things, like a bed? Or a room in this temple?" He asked, glaring at her in an almost half hearted sort of way, his hold on Keiichi tightening.

Keiko rolled her eyes. "Oh, yes, forgive us ridiculous humans and our attempt to provide shelter and protection for the ones we care about. How primitive of us." Hiei lost his glare and instead opted to blink at her twice in uncertainty. She shook her head and took her baby from his arms, gently cooing at Keiichi when he fussed about being moved. "I'm going to bed. You two should come too. And don't think you're getting out of cleanup duty tomorrow by leaving tonight," she said, glaring pointedly at Hiei.

His eyes narrowed, able to find his trademark leer once again, but Keiko ignored him. Instead, she kissed her husband on the cheek and started across the temple lawn, towards the main compound. Yusuke watched her walk away before shrugging and rubbing the back of his neck. "We really should get to bed, you know."

"You should work on controlling your wife," Hiei reminded dryly, his eyebrow twitching in obvious annoyance.

Yusuke shook his head and yawned. "Right, because you were in total control of the conversation you had with her."

Hiei opened his mouth to reply hotly, feeling his entire body pulse with the desire to kill Yusuke – he could almost hear the proverbial crowds chanting him on – when Kurama opened the sliding door to the main compound.

"We're getting the bed rolls out!" He called across the yard. "And as much as I'd like to be the only male who helps the lovely, and yet very tired, ladies set up the room for all of us, I – well, I really would appreciate the help."

Sending Yusuke a look that would have frozen hell over if Hiei was in fact an ice demon in hell intent on freezing it over, he brushed passed the former detective and stalked over to the main compound.

--

As it turned out, Genkai did not have individual rooms for everyone. Instead, she had one semi large room where the six of them (Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, Keiko, Genkai, and Shizuru) could set up bedrolls in a circle and attempt to get rest as a group.

It was stupid, crowded, and uncomfortable.

Hiei didn't like the bedroll he was given – it smelled like old lady. And he didn't like where his bedroll was placed – in-between the ferry girl and the fox. Instead, he sat against the wall near the door, planning his escape as soon as everyone else fell asleep. That way, no one would know where he had gone, effectively getting him out of 'clean up duty' as Keiko had so eloquently put it.

The woman in question was still up, holding a restless infant in her arms.

Yusuke yawned and rubbed his eyes, none of them able to fall asleep with the child crying. "What's wrong with him, babe?"

"I think he's cold," Keiko said, holding the baby closer to her. "Genkai mentioned the heat being broken, and I'm chilly in here. So I'm guessing he doesn't like the temperature."

Yusuke nodded and struggled to stand up out of his bedroll. "I'll see if I can fix it," he said, scratching and stumbling out of the room, tripping over Botan as he did so.

The blue haired girl cried, "Hey!" at being disturbed from her semi asleep state and glared at the spirit detective's retreating form. "I think he did it on purpose."

Shizuru yawned and rolled over. "Well, I hope he fixes the heat. If he has to trip over you to do it, so be it."

Botan stared slack jawed at Shizuru's back, too tired to come up with a reasonably intelligent comeback, and Kurama chuckled drowsily.

Keiichi let out another cry, and Keiko rocked him in her arms, gently shushing and cooing the baby.

Hiei growled under his breath, frustrated that the entire room was being kept awake by one tiny human baby. At this rate, he would never get out of this infuriating temple, with its infuriating wedding guests, and all the mess that the wedding left that he would be no part of cleaning up. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall, letting heat permeate from his body and fill the room.

Just moments later, Keiichi stopped crying.

"Ooh, it's nice in here now. Yusuke, did you fix the heat?" Keiko called.

"What?" Yusuke called back, his loud voice earning glares from the other females in the room. "No, no, I can't even find the damn thing!"

"Well, it must've kicked on because it's nice and toasty in here now!" Botan responded, sighing happily as she sunk deeper into her bedroll.

Keiko settled herself and her child on the mat, kissing his face and curling around him.

Yusuke stumbled back into the room, still scratching different parts of his person. "Well, I don't know what happened, but, you're welcome."

"Thank you MacGuiver," Shizuru yawned, closing her eyes and pulling her blanket up to her chin.

Kurama flashed Hiei a knowing look, but the fire demon just rolled his eyes and turned away from him, still focusing on letting his body heat fill the room.

As Yusuke crawled back into his bedroll next to his wife and child, Hiei couldn't help but feel disgusted. The idiotic spirit detective couldn't even keep his own family warm. And absolutely none of the inhabitants of the room could take care of themselves in any way. It was only April for goodness sakes, and without a lousy heater, they were all prepared to stay up all night and listen to an uncomfortable baby cry. Disgusting really, that they would just let a child rule their lives.

Hiei snorted quietly, and kept focusing on letting out his body heat. Because the sooner they were all warm enough, the sooner they would all be asleep, and the sooner he could get away from the temple and everything that involved the wedding. He didn't think about the wedding, he didn't think about the cleanup, he only focused on keeping the room warm.

He couldn't figure out what Yusuke meant when he said that things would look better in the morning, because they already looked just fine right now. They had never looked bad in the first place. No, he didn't care about his sister marrying the idiot – and consequentially being 'deflowered' by the idiot. Not at all. No, all he cared about was keeping the room warm, so that Keiichi would be quiet, so that everyone would fall asleep, and he could get out of that place.

All Hiei cared about was keeping the room warm so he could leave there faster.

And that was the mantra he kept repeating to himself throughout the night, until he finally fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N**: So, what's the verdict?


	4. There is fun to be done!

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, still not mine.

**A/N:** Edited only by me. You have been warned.

* * *

**Oh, The Places You'll be forced to Go!**

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There is fun to be done!

It was funny how children changed people. Keiko thought perhaps only herself and her immediate family would be so obviously affected by the life born from the love that she and her husband shared. But, oh, how wrong she had been.

She thought maybe it had something to do with Keiichi himself. He had a way about him, a smile about him, that made him completely irresistible. He was fearless, absolutely fearless, and even the most antisocial of demons would kowtow to him.

Keiko realized that none of their friends played with him the same as anyone else. She and Yusuke were one thing – the boy could get his parents to do his bidding with a simple point of his hand and a "baa!" and they'd go running, trying to do whatever they could to make him happy. But their friends, they all loved that little boy too, and they did what they could to make him happy in their own way.

Kuwabara would crawl along on the floor with Keiichi, making faces, rolling around, hitting himself in the head, and otherwise making an absolute fool of himself to see if Keiichi would find it funny. More often than not, the toddler would simply walk over to his Aunt Yukina.

Yukina had an entirely different approach with the boy. She spoke to him – often, and frequently. She asked questions, speaking to him like he was an adult who understood what was going on. She took his little movements and motions as answers and responses to her conversation, and would continue on from those prompts. Eventually, the sound of her voice would make him sleepy, and he'd hold up his arms in a signal to be held and fall asleep in her lap.

When Botan came, she'd try to play with his toys with Keiichi, often times sitting on the floor and trying to roll a ball back and forth with him. Most of the time she could get him to roll the ball back at least once before he'd pick it up and walk into another room, laughing like he was getting away with something dastardly. Botan would then, more often than not, make cat faces at him until he came back to her, proffering the stolen ball.

Koenma might have been the worst of all. He would come in his toddler form and play with Keiichi the way toddlers would play together: most of the time they'd got along, but sometimes they fought over toys, and though Keiko couldn't be certain, she was almost positive Koenma was a biter. Fortunately, he was the busiest of their friends and therefore he didn't play with Keiichi as much as the others.

Kurama was certainly the most dignified. He'd make himself comfortable on the couch with a toy car in his hand, showing the car to the boy from across the room and casually goad him into coming over. Every time, Keiichi took the bait, and he'd sit in Kurama's lap; the two of them would race the car up and down along the couch's armrest, over its back, and often times up and down Keiichi's legs and feet.

Shizuru was the ever constant big sister. She'd pick the boy up and take him outside, deciding that the confines of the Urameshi living room just weren't enough for a toddler, and let him get dirty in the mud. Frequently, she'd jump in the rain puddle first, before encourage the little one to take a leap and step in. Keiko didn't invite her over much.

But Hiei. Now, Hiei was interesting to watch. Not so much because of how Hiei played – if you could even call it playing – but because of how Keiichi responded to the fire demon. Ever since Keiichi was three months old and they had named their godfather (and Keiichi had shown a strange fondness for the demon) Hiei showed up a little more frequently. On the surface, it always seemed he was there to score free food or just piss of Yusuke. But Keiko didn't miss the way he seemed absolutely fascinated by the boy's mere existence, even if everyone else seemed too busy to notice.

He would sit on the floor, his back leaning against the couch, and just watch as Keiichi played.

At first, Keiko was startled. She had an unjustified fear that Hiei was plotting to kidnap her son and turn him into his minion (which, when she thought about it, wasn't so unjustified at all). But instead, he just came, and watched Keiichi play.

The surprising part happened when Keiichi stopped his playing, picked up a toy car, and waddled over to Hiei. When Hiei didn't take it from him, Keiichi bent forward and ran the car along the carpet. After a few awkward swipes and best attempts, he stood up straight, and held the car out. Hiei took it from him. And realization dawned on Keiko.

Her one year old son was showing Hiei how to play.

It was at that point she made herself scarce, hiding away in her bedroom but peeking out from the crack in the door – lest Hiei have a relapse and kidnap her son and turn him into a minion, of course. She loved watching them. Keiichi would demonstrate and would wait around for Hiei to show the boy that he could do whatever was taught. So, if Keiichi had rolled the car around, Hiei was expected to roll the car around. After he'd roll the car, Keiichi would fetch another toy and demonstrate that to Hiei before handing it over and waiting to see him copy the motions.

The most amazing part was that Hiei would indulge the boy. He'd copy the boy to the letter and then wait patiently for the next toy. It was only after hours of playing together that Keiichi would turn around, back up with his butt out in the general direction of Hiei, and stumble in his lap that they'd stop worrying about toys. Every time, Keiichi fell asleep in Hiei's lap. And often, instead of helping Hiei out and taking the boy from him, Keiko would jump in the bathroom as an opportunity to take a shower for longer than 27 seconds.

Hiei never complained. He'd wait until she was thoroughly cleaned and dressed before he would put the boy down in his crib. And then, he'd be gone.

So, it wasn't of great significance to her when added to Keiichi's vocabulary (which had so far consisted of: Papa, ball, Mama, uh oh, no, and yay) was 'hee-yay'.

To their other friends, however, it was the equivalent of the underworld freezing over. It was a monstrous blow to the ego that the little boy showed clear favoritism towards the anti social little fire demon. And to their friends (mostly Kuwbara) it meant war.

* * *

**A/N**: Ooooh war. What is it good for?


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